Chapter 18 (redone)

Right after breakfast, I go for lessons with Lorik. According to Kyle, these lessons are daily, just like Weapons class. Twice a week, we have Battle Practice, and then gym class 3 times a week. On the last day of the week, we all get physical evaluations by our instructors. Not very excited about that. This school is definitely not a normal one; we don’t have to take math or science or history classes here. It’s like being in the army or something. I don’t think I mind.

In my personal lesson, we review what I learned yesterday.

You have done well, Krystal, Lorik praises me. I thank him silently, and wait for my next assignment.

On the way to the classroom, we agreed speak to each other with our minds only so that I can practice. When we’re alone, anyway. It’s also supposed to strengthen my relationship with him. Feeling someone’s thoughts and emotions all day does that to you.

The strange thing is that I know I’d feel hostile and uncomfortable with the arrangement if I were still on Earth. It feels like there’s…a fog or something. It deadens your feelings until you get used to it. I suspect it might just be Lorik messing with my head. Then again, I know his every conscious thought. So far, he’s been pretty boring. At least he seems to be alright, from what I can tell.

Krystal, I can feel many questions swirling around in your head. It’s very distracting, so I’m going to answer them. Begin.

Finally! I am so relieved when he says that, I feel like giving him a hug. Something tells me that wouldn’t fly with him.

Okay, why are there so many Instructors?

That is simple. If you would take time to slow down and think about it, you would realize why. Astulad can’t very well teach you to use your gift, can he? Nor can Hanayni, Aoife, or Madara. So there must be different Instructors for each Class.

Are there other Energy Instructors?

Yes. Chances are that you will not meet them any time soon. In a normal situation, you would have had one of them as your Instructor.

Why?

Lorik sighs and runs an impatient hand through his thick blonde hair. Because you are only a first-year classman. I teach higher levels. I get the sense that he isn’t telling me something. That’s becoming a common theme.

But Kyle said—I argue

Kyle only said that I was your Instructor, Lorik interrupts, siphoning off my memory.

So how’d you get stuck with me?

You have much more raw power than is typical of someone your age and experience. To put you in a class with other Class Vigoris Unum students would be dangerous for both parties. And you are not educated enough to join a higher class.

So I’m special? I ask, smiling hugely.

Definitely, he grunts. Now, is your incessant parade of questions finished? At least for now?

Nope.

Lorik taps his foot.

How come I didn’t know about this Energy Manipulation stuff before?

Because no one told you. That is a reasonable answer, no? Lorik says. He’s getting so impatient that I hear his accent even in his thoughts.

Well, like why couldn’t I read anyone’s mind before? Why couldn’t I hear Kyle’s thoughts? Or anyone else’s?

The answer hasn’t changed. You were very capable of reading someone’s mind if you knew how, but you never tried. And no one ever spoke to you because they cannot address you if that is not their given IP. Kyle never told you because he wasn’t allowed to. If you remember (and I see that you do), the first time your ability was put to use was when I addressed you at your former school.

Ohhhhhh…that makes sense.

Lorik rolls his eyes. Did you think it would not?

I make a face. Don’t be so mean to me, Lory.

He ignores me. I kind of expected that. Are you ready for your lesson?

I make a show of trying to think of more questions. Okay.

Lorik produces a small pot of dirt from nowhere.

Now, you are going to make this seed grow.

I’ve already tuned him out, mulling over the new information. I’ve never been the type to listen in class. Why should I? The internet knows all, so I don’t have to.

KRYSTAL!!! Lorik’s voice pounds in my head, causing me to lose control of myself for a few seconds. My fingers produce small sparks, until I master myself again.

Lorik waits until I’m listening again. It is important that you focus, he growls harshly. If you cannot focus, you could get someone hurt or killed.

I step back without thinking about it, afraid of the anger radiating from him. Then, horror of horrors, a tear slides down my cheek. I try hard not to let any more out, but my efforts bring around the opposite effect.

I’m sorry, I’ll try harder. I really didn’t mean to, I’m so sorry…I can’t apologizing. I can’t stop crying. I don’t know why I care that he’s mad at me. People are mad at me all the time. Why should the opinion of this man (who I’ve only known for two days) matter to me?

A few awkward moments pass. Then, there’s a hand on my shoulder. It’s Lorik’s. I shrink back, anticipating some sort of physical punishment. Memories of my drunken father abusing me flash through my mind, and I recoil from his touch even more.

Krystal, Lorik’s voice says quietly. Gently, even. Forgive me. I should not have been harsh. I would never hurt you.

I sniff, desperately trying to stop the snot and tears. More memories race through my head.

Memories of Kyle demanding answers from me when he glimpsed bruises on my arms and legs. Of him wiping away my tears. Of him letting me cry on his shoulder when I couldn’t bottle my feelings up anymore about my parents, being bullied at school, and failing in classes during second semester.

I try to hold the memories back; try to shut them off. I’m not ready for Lorik to know all this about me yet. The embarrassment just makes me cry more.

Finally, I run out of tears and just stand there hiccupping. My face is a mess, and so are my hands. Lorik mutely hands me a cloth. When I don’t do anything with it, he carefully wipes my face with it. I can’t bring myself to look him in the eye. I block myself off from him, retreating into my own mind, even though it’s not allowed in class. I don’t want him to see any more of me.

“Krystal,” he whispers quietly, obligated to speak aloud. His voice sounds rough even when he whispers. “Krystal,” he says again. A long pause. “Kyle sensed when you cut yourself away from us. You should tell him what happened.” He doesn’t say it accusingly, just very matter-of-fact. No emotion. It frustrates me that I don’t know how he feels anymore, but my pride won’t let me reestablish the connection with him.

The door opens so fast I don’t see it. The next thing I know, Kyle and Lorik are both staring at me. Their expressions are irritatingly similar.

I say nothing. Finally, Kyle breaks the silence. “Kryssi…” he trails off, offering me a chance to explain myself. There’s nothing to explain. I just messed up.

“Look,” he begins again. “I don’t know what happened, but it must have been pretty bad for you to separate.”

I still say nothing. I feel bad about being so mean to him, but my own emotional hurt and embarrassment outweigh the concern I have for Kyle.

Despite my distant attitude, Kyle comes to stand right in front of me. He slips a hand under my hair and leans in so close I can smell him. He smells of soap and citrus, just like back home. “Lorik’s not mad at you,” he whispers in my ear. “And neither am I. We just wanna know you’re fine, a’right?” He pulls back and winks at me, his slightly crooked smile shining. It’s really inconvenient to notice right now, but he’s adorable.

“Sorry,” I mutter. Something nudges my consciousness, faintly but persistent. I let it in, knowing that it’s Lorik. I initiate a connection with Kyle, and at once I’m flooded with comforting familiarity. I didn’t realize how alone I felt, totally cut away from him. I guess maybe we’ve always shared a connection, but I didn’t know it.

“Lorik,” I croak feebly. His dark eyes lock on mine, and I lock up.

“Lorik, you might wanna try…I don’t know, not looking so unfriendly?” Kyle suggests, raking his dark blonde hair out of his face. It just falls back, but he doesn’t bother to move it again.

Lorik’s eyes soften a little, release mine, and look down. When he looks at me again, he doesn’t look so intimidating. “Calm your mind. I can’t finish the connection without hurting you if you won’t relax.” Totally emotionless. I glance over at Kyle. He raises one eyebrow. What?

Nothing.

I allow myself to relax while Lorik literally pieces our relationship back together. The metaphor doesn’t escape me; I’ve ruined the already-touchy relationship we had. Once the connection is restored, his voice echoes in my head. Are you all right?

Yeah.

Do you want to tell me what happened?

I’m sure you already know that. I don’t mean to sound so rude, it just happens.

I do, he acknowledges, as if that makes no difference. I’m giving you a chance to explain.

Well, I don’t know what happened.

No, you don’t want to think about it. I know the difference. Since you don’t want to talk about it, class is dismissed. I’d like to talk to you before lunch, though.

The way he says it conveys his meaning clearly: You better be here so that we can talk.